You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This

Pairing: Kevin/Nick
Rated: PG


You shouldn't kiss me like this
Unless you mean it like that
Cause I'll just close my eyes
And I won't know where I'm at

I looked over and saw Nick on the couch in the game room. I had a half an hour or so until time to get ready for the concert that night. He sighed and closed his eyes. Nick was talking to someone on the phone. Probably someone back home. I closed my eyes to stop the tears from falling. Sometimes I couldn’t handle how much I loved him. Nick was a teen idol. One of the most desirable men in the world. He would never return my feelings. I would never tell him my feelings I couldn’t. Ever since Nick was 13 I felt an urge to protect him. I watched him grow up and turn into a man before my very eyes. And somewhere during that time I fell in love with him. I’ve felt this way for a while. No one knows, well at least not that I know of. I find myself staring at him when I shouldn’t. I just can’t seem to keep my eyes or my mind off of him sometimes. I was doing a pretty good job at hiding my feelings so far so I would just have to keep it that way.

~*~

I glanced out the door of the game room when I saw someone walk by. It was Kevin. I felt my eyes fill with tears and I immediately closed my eyes. It was like this every time I seen him. This is what the man does to me. He reduces me to tears. And all I have to do is see him. You see I’m in love with Kevin. I have been for some time. Brian knows but he’s the only one that knows. I had to tell someone. I desperately wanted to tell Kevin, but I knew that was out of the question. Kevin was as straight as an arrow. He could never and would never be in love with me like I was in love with him. With all my heart and soul I wished he felt the same. He never would, and those thoughts could eat me alive.

~*~

I opened my eyes when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I blinked a few times before I realized it really was Nick standing in front of me. I swallowed hard. My heart started beating faster with his presence. I started breathing harder. .

”You ok Kev?” he asked softly. .

”I Im fine Nick,” I said hoarsely.

Nick smirked. He took his hand of my shoulder then shifted until he was in front of me. He stopped smiling and his eyes grew dark. I swallowed hard again. Nick leaned in slowly. His eyes never left mine. He closed his eyes slowly. While leaning into me. Our lips touched softly. I felt sparks as soon as we touched. All of a sudden I pushed Nick away. It was what I had waited for and it was all I wanted but I couldn’t do it if he was just doing it because I was the only one around. I couldn’t be hurt like that I loved him too much.

I've got a funny feeling
The moment that your lips touched mine
Something shot right through me
My heart skipped a beat in time

I just kissed Kevin! My mind was racing. Why’d he push me away? I felt my eyes fill with tears. I loved him. I finally kissed the man I loved and he pushed me away. I felt my heart break in two. I looked up at him my eyes clouded with tears. I looked into his eyes and noticed his were full of tears also.

”Kev?”, I whispered.

”Nicky what was that?” he asked his voice full of emotion.

”I kissed you”, I said softly.

”Kevin closed his eyes. “Why?” Kevin managed to choke out.

”I wanted to, I said gently.

I saw the tears slowly start to escape his eyes and roll down his face.

”You shouldn’t kiss me like this if you don’t mean it like that”, Kevin said quietly.

I felt my heart lift by those words. Maybe there was hope for us after all. Maybe he felt the same way I did. I took a deep breath and leaned in and rested my forehead against Kevin’s.

”That’s just it Kevin”, I said quietly. “I meant it like that.”

There's a different feel about you tonight
It's got me thinkin' lots of crazy things
I even think I saw a flash of light
It felt like electricity

I felt my heart stop. I swear to god I stopped breathing. Did he actually mean it like that? Did he really care about me the way I cared about him?

”What do you mean Nicky”, I said almost inaudible.

”I mean I love you Kevin. I have for a while now and I’m tired of living my life without you. Every day it’s a battle seeing you and knowing I can’t be with you. You have no idea what you mean to me. You were my constant source of support when I was growing up. The person who never once deserted me. I’ve always tried to be more like you. I’m not really sure how or when but I fell in love with you.”

I swear to god I’m going to have a heart attack. At my age that’s not so good. He really feels the same. I whipped away the tears that had managed to fall from Nick’s eyes as he poured his soul to me. I smiled at him.

”How do you feel Kevin?” he asked, a look of anguish clear on his face.

Boy you've never moved me quite
the way you moved me tonight
I just wanted you to know

I just told Kevin everything I’ve been feeling. Now it’s his turn. He’s smiling that’s good right?

“Nicky I feel the same way about you. I’ve watched you grow, mature into a man. I fell in love with that man. I fell in love with you.

I started to smile. He felt the same way I did! I was in love and he loved me back! We both leaned in at the same time. Our lips met in a kiss that would lead to many others because we both meant it like that.

You shouldn't kiss me like this
Unless you mean it like that
Cause I'll just close my eyes
And I won't know where I'm at